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A little back story… I’ve never been a big fan of the local county fair. Each summer for the past five years I managed to be “busy” while the fair was in town or come up with an excuse to not take the obligatory family outing. One of my good friends asked me last week, “Have you taken the kids to the fair yet this year?”
I sighed and responded that I wasn’t planning on going yet again this year. “What?!” he exclaimed in disbelief. “You HAVE to take the kids to the fair. It’s a rite of passage, an annual tradition and I guarantee that you’ll have a great time!”
My mother’s guilt kicked into full gear and I realized that I had selfishly been depriving my kids of a slice of Americana…
So off we went to the fair and I was determined to have the great time that I had been promised by my friend. My mission was to find a few reasons to love the fair. So here it goes...
1. Chocolate Covered Bacon – No, I didn’t actually eat it. It just makes me happy to say it and realize that it actually exists.
2. The Art Show – The fine art and photography exhibits were nice (and air conditioned) but the true art was featured on the large percentage of fair attendees who proudly displayed their bad tattoos. Quite an impressive showing I must say!
3. Swine Racing – Seriously, who wouldn’t love an attraction that featured piglet racers named Lindsay Loham, Sarah Jessica Porker and Brad Pig.
4. Gem Exhibit – The actual gems on display were a bit more lackluster than I had recalled from previous years. The true sparkle came when I saw one of the male patrons wearing a rhinestone studded velvet vest with no shirt underneath and his chest hairs proudly displayed for the crowd’s consumption. Dazzling!
5. Aromatherapy – Oh, the amazing aromas of the livestock barn filled with cows, goats and possibly the largest hogs I’ve ever seen. I realized, however, that the farm animals smelled like roses after next visiting the small animal display filled with rabbits, guinea pigs and other small critters. I immediately appreciated that we only had the mild stench of one guinea pig at home.
6. The Carnival Games – Of course, my kids were asking to play some of the midway games and being the mean parent that I am, said, “Of course you can play if you’d like to use your own money."
Once they were on the hook for the cash, they were a bit more hesitant. I suggested that we watch a few other victims….I mean guests, play the games first to see how they fared. After watching the ring toss for a full five minutes and not a single person had successfully landed a ring on a bottle, my kids finally agreed that it would be a waste of money. A victorious parenting moment!
7. The International Cuisine – How can you possibly beat the amazing variety of food they serve at the fair? Five pound turkey legs, deep fried Oreos & Snickers, funnel cakes big enough to feed a family of four and burgers the size of my head. Some might say that it was a worldly selection made in hog-heaven. I ultimately decided that only one country was truly represented - - GREASE! |
