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To Spanx or Not to Spanx - Aug. 13, 2012

After a meeting last week where I closed a big deal, what do you think was the first thing I did? Celebrate with a glass of wine? Let out a big, "WooHoo?"

Nope. I ran to the bathroom and ripped off my Spanx! Technically they are faux Spanx because I didn’t cough up for the brand name pair but nonetheless, I had to get those things OFF!

The Spanx phenomenon is one that is a bit new to me. I never used to worry too much about “my parts” staying in place but I think turning the big 4-0 has got me convinced that everything is sagging to my knees these days. Whether or not it is truly the case, I find that I am slipping into (okay, yanking on) my Spanx whenever I am headed to an important business function, social event or any public appearance where someone might be judging my backside. The truth is I feel like a stuffed sausage whenever I wear them but at least I have confidence that no lumps or bumps will escape without a serious fight.

As I was shoving my pair into my purse last week (ahh…felt SO much better!), I started to think it would be great if they could invent “Spanx” for many of life’s situations where you want to keep things in their place. A few ideas:


  • Know-It-All Spanx – I don’t know about you, but I don’t know everything and I’m not afraid to say it. I think that a pair a Spanx that could control the flow of unsolicited advice would be a fantastic invention.

  • Super School Mom Spanx – Put these on the “perfect” mom at school that always makes the rest of us look like slackers
  • Nosey Neighbor Spanx – A pair of these would keep them contained and on their own side of the fence
  • Cranks Spanx – I could have definitely used a pair of these myself during our recent bout of scorching hot weather. These would help keep our uncontrollable irritability at bay.

Sarcasm aside, we know that there are times when we need to keep ourselves in check but it’s just not comfortable trying to pretend we are something that we are not. When it comes down to it, wouldn’t we all just rather let it all hang out?!

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